Monday, May 16, 2011

Family Stories

Every one has great stories and sometimes embarrassing ones. The one that comes to mind this morning involved the mother of my daughter. She had just come from the dentists office and her mouth was numb as she entered the empty elevator. She reached for her lipstick and began to blindly apply a generous layer before going back to work. She wondered why people sniggered as they entered the elevator and the receptionist even gave her a crooked grin when she got back to work. It wasn't until she went into the ladies room that she looked into the mirror to find she had smeared lipstick all over her numb face and could have passed for a clown.
Another anecdote we resurrect at family reunions happened when she and her best friend were shopping at the local mall. They were on the way home with shopping bags in both hands when the craziest thing happened. They were on the down escalator when the person at the bottom toppled over, probably tripping. The persons behind her fell on top of her and the next group fell on top as well. Before long, there were many struggling shoppers in a heap just as our intrepid couple approached. Quick thinking prevailed as they began to back step trying to at least stay in place. The shocked people behind them also began back stepping, until the way became clear. No one was injured but I always smile when I conjure up the image of this hilarious skit which would have been great for Saturday Night Live.
The last anecdote happened when my son was about twelve years old. If memory serves, this happened on a busy Sunday morning. It could have been Easter and in our defense we were all in a big hurry to get home as something desirable was slow cooking in the crockpot. We left in separate cars, me with some kids and my wife with a car full. Car pooling was something we practiced with some of the neighborhood kids as their grateful parents enjoyed sleeping in on Sunday morning. Later as we all sat around the table and prepared to bless the meal we noticed my son was not present. We called his name. No answer. A quick reconnoiter came up uneventful. Now we were a little panicked and tried to remember the last time we saw him. I recalled seeing him talking with his friends as I drove home. My wife also recalled seeing him talking with friends as she drove home. Oh No. We exclaimed and yelling and maybe crying we dashed to the car and drove like crazy people back to church to find a very pensive young boy starring us down as we pulled up. Needless to say my son has never forgotten this and makes it a point to tell the story to anyone who will listen at family gatherings.


  1. Great post!

    One cold winter day I decided to run outside instead of on our treadmill. I ran about four miles, passed maybe five other crazies, and then returned home. When I walked by a mirror, I froze. I had blood all over the bottom half of my face. Apparently, at some point during my run, I'd gotten a bloody nose, but couldn't feel the blood because my face was frozen. I always wondered what those other runners thought when they saw me.

  2. Omg. Heard of snot beard before but that takes the cake. Thanks for sharing Rachel. :)

  3. Nothing that embarrassing has happened to me yet, as far as having something red on my face, but I did have to tell my Grandma she had ranchero sauce on her face at breakfast this morning.

    Thanks for commenting on Pagan Spirits, Regge!

  4. Welcome Erin. Love the Wylie Coyote also know as Joan. Ranchero sause huh. Hope you told her before going shopping. Lol